Lean On Me
by danceisthewindowtoyoursoul
Summary: Tragedy strikes and Cat Valentine finds herself leaning on her friends more than ever. But she happens to be leaning on one friend more than all the rest. (Very OOC Cat Valentine) *Temporary Hiatus*
1. Chapter 1

_Robbie's POV_

On my first day, of my freshman year, at Hollywood Arts High School, I fell hopelessly in love with a girl named Caterina Valentine.

She was in my first period World History class. Our teacher sat us alphabetically, and since there were no 'T' or 'U' names in the class, that put the two of us right next to each other.

At first, she intimated me. She was so pretty, I had no idea how to talk to her, I was scared I'd say something stupid. But after the countless amounts of 'turn and share your answer with the person next to you' that escaped our teacher's mouth in the first two months or so of the class, the two of us became fast friends. She had the most wonderful personality, bubbly, energetic, always had a smile on her face, and she was never _not_ happy. Not to mention she was incredibly unique, one look at her bright red hair could tell you that. I had never met a girl like her before, I had never met _anyone_ like her before, for that matter.

She introduced me to her little group of friends, Jade, Beck, and Andre. They welcomed me into their group with open arms...well, Beck and Andre did, Jade took a little while longer to warm up to me, and I was fine with that. She scared the shit out of me when I first met her, she seemed to scare the shit out of anybody who didn't know her personally.

I soon learned that I had a lot in common with Beck and Andre. We liked the same movies, played the same video games, and listened to the same music. Thanks to this hopeless crush I had on this wonderful girl, I found my niche at this new school, found my friend group. Everything was falling into place. Everything was great.

January sophomore year, it was Andre's turn to bring a newcomer to our circle of friends, her name was Tori Vega. She was a sweet, funny, and crazy talented girl. Not to mention Andre had the _biggest_ crush on her. She fit right in to our little group. And five became six.

Fast forward about four and a half, maybe five months to mid May of that same year, and enter Danny Perrucci. He was a year older than us, Tori's ex-boyfriend from Sherwood High School, and now he was dating Cat.

I guess that serves me right for crushing on a girl for almost a year and a half and never telling her how I feel. Some other guy took the chance, and he won her over. I figured the relationship would be short-lived after an incident with Tori at our end of the year Kickback party a few weeks later, but I was wrong. It's senior year, and Cat and Danny are together.

The only difference now is that Cat isn't the same bubbly, fun-loving redhead I met in Mr. Conroy's freshman World History class. She's no longer bubbly, she's no longer innocent, or ignorant, or naïve. She has this edge to her now that wasn't there before, and I know Danny is to blame. Sure, she's still friends with me, with all of us...but the Cat Valentine I first fell in love with is gone.

I'm over my crush now, I was over it by the time junior year started. But it's still hard to watch someone you care about as a friend turn into a completely different person.

* * *

"What are we doing tonight?" Tori asks, pushing what's left of her Caesar salad around her plastic bowl from the Grub Truck

"They're showing Pretty in Pink at that theater off of 2nd street." Andre shrugs "That's a movie we could all get behind, right?"

"That movie is so cliché." Jade groans "Do we have to?"

"Yes, we have to." Beck laughs "You and I both know you'll have fun once the movie actually starts. Maybe we could hit up Nozu after?"

"I'm down." I nod "Cat?"

"I can't." She says flatly

"Why not?" Jade looks at her, confused

"Danny and I already made plans." She shrugs

"Well then bring him with." Andre suggests "You've been dating the guy for a year and a half, Cat. If we didn't like the guy, would've said something by now."

Except here's the thing, we don't like Danny. Well...we sort of do, we don't as much as we used to. General consensus of the group says something weird has changed about him in the past few months since he graduated high school. He's going to community college until he figures out what he wants to do, but Cat makes it sound like he almost never attends his classes. Which is so incredibly stupid sounding to me, why would you spend all that money and not even go? But whatever, I can't tell him how to live his life. However, I wish he'd treat Cat a little better, the past few weeks he's treated her like dirt.

"I don't think Pretty in Pink is exactly his speed." Cat admits, pulling a mirror out of her bag to check her makeup "Fuck. Guys! How could you let me walk around with this hickie all day and not say anything to me?!"

"I just assumed you knew." Tori shrugs "Sorry, Cat."

"I'll be back..." She sighs, picking up her bag to head to the bathroom "Any of you touch my fries and you're dead."

"How the hell did she not see that thing?" Jade asks once Cat is out of earshot "It's fucking huge."

"She had a jacket on this morning." Tori shrugs "It covered her chest. Maybe she didn't see it and now that she's not wearing the jacket she's seeing it for the first time."

"She had to have known Danny was sucking on her though!"

"Can we _not_ talk about this when I'm eating?" Andre asks "Like, please?"

"She's been distant lately, can we all agree?"

Andre, Tori, Beck and I all nod our heads in agreement. Cat _has_ been acting weirder and weirder as the school year has gotten underway.

I just hope it's not any of Danny's doing.


	2. Chapter 2

_Cat's POV_

"What time is it?" I whisper

Danny turns his head to look at the clock sitting on his bedside table.

"Almost eleven."

"Shit." I mutter "I've got to go, my parents are going to kill me."

"Baby, no..." Danny groans, rolling over and wrapping his arm around my waist, tightening his already firm grip with his other arm "Stay with me."

"Danny, I can't." I insist, prying his arms off of me "I've already broken curfew once this week."

My father almost murdered me when I came home at close to midnight a few nights ago, it was even worse that it was a school night too.

"Just call them and say your sleeping at Tori's..." He says, pulling me back into bed

"I've used that excuse a few too many times." I tell him "I'm sorry, baby. I have to go."

Danny slumps back onto the mattress as I throw the sheets off of my body and stand up, grabbing my bra from it's spot on the floor and putting it back on. Slowly, I start gathering the rest of my clothing from the random locations it had been thrown when Danny started ripping it off of me. He swings his legs over the side of the bed, picking up his boxers and pulling them on.

He moved out of his parent's house about two months ago, and now lives in a small studio apartment downtown. Obviously we take advantage of the situation quite often. My parents know he's living on his own now, my dad and older brother helped him move some of his furniture in here, but they'd kill me if they knew we hung out here as often as we do. I usually tell them we're going out to dinner, or to a movie, or that we're hanging out at one of my friend's houses. Right now, they think we're out at Nozu with the rest of my friend group. If I miss curfew again, they'll call Jade or Tori looking for me.

"You look better with your clothes off, you know." Danny sighs, walking over to the refrigerator and opening it

He's going for a beer, I just know he is. I wish he wouldn't drink that stuff, he's not even of legal age to have it yet and he already addicted to it.

"Shut up." I smirk as he pops the lid off of a bottle and starts walking towards me "I'll text you when I get home."

"You sure you can't stay?" He wraps an arm around my waist and pulls me closer to him

"I'm sure."

He tilts his head down to kiss me goodnight. I feel his tongue enter my mouth and I stick mine up to stop it. It's not fair to him to start something I know I don't have the time to finish.

"I really have to go, baby."

"Alright, alright." He sighs "Want a swig for the road?"

"I'm okay." I admit

"Come on, babe. It won't hurt you!" He exclaims "Just try a little, you might like it!"

"I don't drink, Danny."

"Come on, try it."

"Fine." I groan, ripping the bottle out of his hand

I take a quick, small sip and shove it back at him.

"Happy now?"

"Yeah, sure. I guess." He shrugs "Goodnight, I love you."

"I love you too." I tell him, opening the door

I start down the stairs and out to the parking lot where my car is parked. I always feel like someone is going to jump me when I walk through this lot by myself at night. Even though I've voiced this to Danny several times, he never offers to walk me to my car. But whatever, he's usually tired. Now that he's working and sort of going to school and basically supporting himself, I guess he has the right to be tired.

I unlock the driver's side door to my car, slide in, and then immediately lock it again. Reaching over and opening the glove compartment, I grab a package of gum, unwrapping a stick and popping it into my mouth to cover the smell of the alcohol I know is lingering there. If my parents smell that on my breath, I'll be grounded for sure.

* * *

"How was the movie?" My dad asks from his spot on the living room couch as I enter the kitchen and drop my purse on the island

"It was good. It always is." I tell him, pulling my jacket tighter around my body to cover the new collection of hickies Danny has graced my body with "Gotta love the classics, right?"

"John Hughes is a real genius." He smiles "You going to bed?"

"I might hop in the shower real quick, but then I will, yeah." I nod "You didn't have to wait up for me, Dad."

"I wanted to make sure you got home safely. And on time." He says "Especially after what happened a few nights ago."

"Are you going to hold that against me forever?" I sigh, leaning against the counter

"Not forever, just until you get it through your head that curfews are not meant to be broken in this house."

"I said I was sorry..."

"Sorry isn't going to get you out of every piece of trouble you get into in your life, sweetheart." He tells me "Sometimes, you've gotta pay the consequences for a while."

I'd honestly rather him ground me than just guilt trip me for a month.

"Whatever." I roll my eyes, fishing my cell phone out of my purse and sticking it into the back pocket of my shorts

"Is there something you want to tell me, Caterina?"

"Nope."

"You're not hiding anything?"

"Of course not. What would I have to hide?"

"I don't know." He shrugs "You just seem off tonight."

"I'm fine." I assure him "I'm going to go to bed now, goodnight."

"Goodnight."

I exit the kitchen and head upstairs to my room. I can't wait to go to college next year and get away from my parents and their constant interrogations.

 _Where were you?_

 _Who were you with?_

 _You're not having sex, are you?_

 _What's that mark on your neck?_

I don't understand why society makes us feel so guilty about having hickies on our bodies. Okay, someone loves me enough to do that to me. Why is that such a big deal?

Why is sex such a big deal that I have to hide it from my parents? I'm seventeen, it's always consensual, I love him, he loves me. Why is _that_ such a big deal?

Why can't everyone just mind their own damn business?


	3. Chapter 3

_Robbie's POV_

I don't know why I thought taking AP Calculus and AP Physics at the same time during the same semester would be a good idea. I don't know why the school administration thought it would be a good idea for me to have both classes during back to back periods, either. By the time third period ends, my brain is absolutely fried and I feel like I can't think straight anymore, and I still have another four academic classes to sit through. Luckily, between AP Physics and my Theater Studies class, I have time to stop off at my locker and switch my books around; a bit of a brain break, so to speak.

As I'm sliding the last of my notebooks into my backpack, I catch Cat across the hallway out of the corner of my eye. She looks like she's struggling to make a book exchange of her own, almost falling over as she tries to yank a textbook out of her bottom locker.

I grab my lunch that I'm going to eat next period and shove it into my bag, closing my locker and making my way across the hallway to offer my assistance.

"Hey Cat." I greet her

"What?" She turns her head to look up at me "Oh, hey."

She makes another attempt to free her textbook and ends up falling backwards into a sitting position in front of her locker.

"Need some help?"

"Yes please..." She sighs

"Which one?"

"Dramatic Studies."

I shrug my backpack off of my shoulders and set it down on the floor, then kneel down in front of her locker so I'm in a better position. I use my hand to separate her Dramatic Studies textbook from the other two on either side of it and try to wiggle it loose. After a few attempts, I'm able to get the book free and pull it out with ease.

"Here you go." I smile, handing the book to her

"Oh my gosh, thanks." She thanks me, tucking the book under her arm

I wait for her to get all of her things collected, then offer a hand to her to help her up. She takes it and grips it firmly, and I pull her to her feet.

"Thanks twice." She laughs, rubbing her wrist slightly

"You're welcome." I nod as she kicks her locker door closed "You really should clean that thing out."

"I know." She sighs "It's just finding the time and the motivation to do it."

"I could come in with you if you wanted to do it during lunch." I offer "Is your wrist okay?"

"What?" She looks at me and then at her wrist that she's still holding to her chest "Oh! Yeah, it's totally fine! I just smacked it on the kitchen island this morning and there's a bit of a bruise. Where are you headed?"

"I'm on this floor." I tell her

"Oh...I'm on the second." She says "I guess I'll see you at lunch?"

"Yup."

"Thanks again for your help." She touches my shoulder "See you next period."

"See you."

* * *

"Do you guys want to come over tonight?" Tori asks "My parents are driving up to see Trina in some play her college is putting on. We could order pizza and watch a movie?"

"A collegiate drama program is actually letting Trina Vega participate in a real play?" Jade asks "Are pigs flying?"

"I personally think she might be sleeping with the director." Tori admits "It's my sister, how else would she manage to pull that off?"

"Hey!" Cat runs over to the table and slides into her seat between Jade and I "Sorry I'm late. There was a _crazy_ line for food."

"Is it tamale day?"

"It is." She smirks "And I got one before they ran out!"

"Good for you."

"Thank you, thank you." Cat pretends to take a few bows "So, what are we talking about?"

"Pizza and a movie at Tori's tonight." Andre tells her "You down?"

"I can't." Cat pouts "Danny and I already made plans for tonight."

"You're not bailing on us two Friday's in a row, Cat!"

"I'm sorry!"

"Just bring Danny with you!" Tori tells her "We'll have plenty of food, and it's not like we mind when he hangs out with us!"

"No he said he wanted me to come to a party at one of his buddy's houses tonight." She sighs "It's a guy he met through work, he wants to introduce me...I don't know."

"We get you next Friday." Jade insists

"Fine." Cat nods "I'll let him know right now."

I watch her lean forward and pull her phone out of her back pocket. She brings it up above the table and rests her elbows on the tabletop, unlocking her phone and opening the messages app. As she does so, the bracelets that she always wears on her left wrist slide down her arm slightly, revealing a purple and green bruise that circles almost her entire wrist.

"Hey." I nudge her "Are you sure your wrist is okay?"

"Hm?" She finishes typing the text then turns to me

"Your wrist." I repeat "Are your sure it's okay? It looks pretty gross."

"I told you..." She whispers "I hit it on the island this morning when I was getting ready for school."

"I'm just-"

"It's fine." She says harshly "Leave it alone."

"Everything good...?" Beck asks

"Yup..." I say, not breaking eye contact with Cat

"What's up, guys?"

"Nothing." Cat assures him "It's fine."

Just bumping your wrist against granite countertop wouldn't make a bruise that shape. And if she just hit it _this_ morning, it wouldn't be that ugly purple-green yet...

"So what movie do you want to rent tonight?" Tori asks the group

"Get the new Brad Pitt one that just got released on DVD." Cat tells her "Danny and I saw it when it was in theaters and it was _phenomenal_."

"Yeah, I heard that one got really good reviews." Jade agrees "Sound good to you guys?"

We all nod in agreement, no one protests.

"Cool." She smiles "Beck and I can pick it up on our way tonight."


	4. Chapter 4

_Cat's POV_

"Are you sure you know where you're going?" I ask Danny, looking out the window as we drive

If the doors weren't already locked and the windows rolled up, I would lock the doors and roll the windows up. This is the kind of neighborhood your parents warn you not to walk alone in at night. Danny's neighborhood is borderline, but only at night. Even now in daylight, I don't feel safe in this one.

"Relax, babe." Danny chuckles, looking over at me "What? You're not _scared_ are you?"

"Uh..." I hesitate to answer "No...no, I just-"

"Don't worry." He reaches over and grabs my hand, pressing a kiss to it as he continues driving "Anybody tries to hurt you, I'll beat their ass before they even get the chance, okay?"

"Kay." I smirk, pulling my hand back into my lap

We continue driving for a few more blocks until we reach a house that already has a driveway full of cars and several more parked on the lawn. There's a few people on the porch who watch us as Danny parks on the lawn as well.

"This is it...?" I ask

"Yeah." Danny smiles at me, unbuckling his seatbelt "Come on."

He opens the door and climbs out of the car. I linger in the passenger's seat for a few seconds longer, debating whether or not to bring my purse in with me. If I take it in, someone could take it. If I leave it in the car...someone could take it.

"Cat!" Danny knocks on my window "What are you doing? Let's go!"

I sigh, taking my phone out of my purse and sticking it into the front pocket of my shorts, then throwing the purse to the bottom of the car so it's out of sight. I open the door and climb out, standing up to be met by Danny's lips crashing into mine. I close the door behind me and he pushes me up against the car, slipping his tongue into my mouth. My lips form a smile around his as we continue making out...

"Hey!" One of the guys on the porch yells "Don't do that out here! Go inside and get a room!"

"Later..." Danny whispers to me before turning to respond to the man who yelled at us "Sorry man! We're going in now!"

The man only rolls his eyes, shaking his head as he takes another sip of something from his solo cup.

"So...who's party is this?" I ask Danny as we walk up to the house

"Rocco's." He tells me

"Rocco who...?"

"I dunno." He shrugs "We work together. Don't worry, he's a good guy."

"Okay..."

We walk up the steps, making eye contact with the man who had yelled at us just a few seconds prior. As I walk past him, the man reaches out and smacks my ass; I shriek in response.

"What the hell?" Danny turns around "That's my girl! Don't touch her!"

"I didn't do anything." The guy insists, holding his hands up to signal innocence

"Did he touch you?" Danny grabs my shoulders roughly and turns me to face him

"Danny..."

"Did he fucking touch you?"

"Let's just go inside." I tell him "Don't start anything..."

"I'm watching you, man..." Danny threatens him, grabbing my hand and leading me inside "Don't touch my girl."

* * *

"So you're still in high school?" Rocco asks me

"Yeah..." I nod, scooting closer to Danny, who's already on his third beer of the night "I'm graduating in the spring."

"And then I'm assuming you're going to college?"

"That's the plan."

"Mmm." Rocco nods "You seem like the type."

"My girl is the smartest in the whole world." Danny smiles, nuzzling his face into my neck

He's close enough that I can smell the alcohol on his breath. Hopefully I'll be able to handle him tonight, I usually can when he gets like this, but every time is a different experience.

"I tried the whole 'high school' thing..." Rocco admits "Wasn't really for me."

"When did you graduate?" I ask him

"I didn't."

"Oh..."

"Well..." Danny says, looking from me to Rocco, then back to me "I think I need another beer, I'll be back."

"Oh no you don't." I grab his hand and pull him back into his seat "I'm cutting you off."

"Looks like you've got yourself a ball and chain there, Danny Boy." Rocco teases him

"Shut the hell up." I snap at him "Danny, I think we should get going...it's getting late."

"I'm fine, Cat!" Danny insists

"No, you're not." I tell him, turning his face to look at me "You're _drunk_. Now give me your keys, we're leaving."

"These..." Danny pulls his keys out of his pocket and dangles them in front of me "Are mine. You can't have them."

"Give me the keys, Daniel." I order him, trying to grab them

He moves them out of the way just in time for me to miss, and continues to jerk them around so I look like a complete idiot trying to grab them. Eventually, I'm able to grab his wrist so I have a better chance.

"Let...go...of me!" He grunts, trying to break free of my grip

"I'm stronger than I look, Danny." I say sternly "I can do this all night."

"I sad...LET GO!" Danny screams

I feel something hard connect with my face. The force from the blow sends my chair backwards and I fall to the ground.

"Oh shit!" Rocco laughs "Danny, you _got_ her man!"

I press my hand to my right eye where Danny punched me, trying to temporarily stop the pain. I feel tears starting to form in my eyes, and I can't tell if it's because I'm in pain or because I'm embarrassed.

"Fuck..." Danny mutters as I get to my feet "Cat, I..."

"Give me the keys." I say flatly, ripping the keys out of his hand "We're leaving."

I grab his arm with the hand that isn't pressed to my eye and also holding the keys and start dragging him out of the house, trying to hide my face so that the party of strangers can't see me cry.


	5. Chapter 5

_Cat's POV_

"Morning." Jade says to me, leaning up against the lockers next to mine

"Morning." I smile up at her, then continue putting my books away

"Woah." Jade almost chokes on her coffee "What the hell happened to you?"

"What do you mean?"

"The shiner on your face!"

"The what...?"

"Your black eye, Cat." She kneels down next to me "What the fuck happened?"

"Fuck!" I exclaim, grabbing the magnetic mirror off of the inside of my locker door "You can see it?"

I tried to cover it up with makeup. Almost sixty hours after Danny hit me, and the swelling isn't going down any. And apparently the bruising isn't getting any better either.

"Yeah, I can see it." She tells me "What happened?"

"I was playing with my dog..." I sigh "She got too excited and we rammed heads."

At least that's what I told my parents when they asked about it Saturday morning. I sure as hell was not going to admit to them that my boyfriend had gotten drunk and hit me because I tried to take his keys from him. Danny is a good guy, I know he'd never hurt me on purpose when he's sober.

"Sure she did..."

Jade isn't nearly as gullible as my parents are.

"She did, Jade." I assure her "Would I lie to you?"

"I guess not..." She sighs "Are you okay? Does it hurt?"

"Like a motherfucker." I chuckle "It should be fine in a few days."

I close my locker and stand up, pulling my backpack onto my shoulders. Jade loops her arm around mine and we head to first period together.

I know as soon as we walk in, the rest of our friends will start interrogating me too, especially Robbie. He was already skeptical about the bruises that were on my wrist last week, and I _know_ he'll be skeptical of my dog cover up story.

Luckily, we're the first of our group to arrive in class, but there's already a few kids in the room already. They look at my face and I can tell some of them want to ask what happened or if I'm okay, but I know none of them will dare; either because they don't want to step into my personal business, or because they're afraid Jade will rip them to pieces.

We take our regular seats and the closer the start of the period gets, the more kids file in to the classroom. Tori and Andre come in first, followed by Beck, and then by Robbie.

"What happened to you, Lil' Red?" Andre gasps when he notices my eye "Did you get in a fight?"

"No..." I chuckle "My dog just got a little too excited this weekend is all...she's a lot stronger than she looks."

"Damn...well I hope that clears up quickly, doesn't look enjoyable."

"It's not." I shrug

"Does it hurt...?" Robbie asks me

"A little." I shrug "Don't worry, I'll be fine."

"Are you sure? We still have a couple minutes until class starts, I can run to the nurse real quick and grab you some ice."

"I'm okay, Robbie." I tell him "Thank you though, the offer means a lot."

"Okay, well...if you change your mind, it still stands."

* * *

"Fuck, babe. That looks bad..." Danny frowns, brushing his fingers up against my eye "I did that...?"

I nod, biting my lip.

Friday night, I drove his car back to his apartment and called my dad, telling him that Danny had started vomiting everywhere and I drove took him home, but that he couldn't drive. Surprisingly, that worked, and he came and picked me up no questions asked, but I kept my hood up for the entire drive home. I made sure the dog slept in my room that night so I could use her as the excuse for my eye in the morning. Danny had to work both Saturday and Sunday, so he hasn't seen me since the party until now, and he looks honestly astonished and ashamed at what he did to me.

Like I said before, he's a good guy.

When he's sober.

"Cat...I'm so sorry." He apologizes

If anyone found out the truth, they'd tell me to leave him in a second, to just walk away and never ever look back. But I can't throw away a relationship of almost two years just because he got drunk and made one stupid mistake. He was drunk, he couldn't control his actions, he didn't mean to hurt me. He's _Danny_ , he's the same guy I fell head over heels for sophomore year. I love him, I might marry him, I might have a baby with him...maybe even two.

"It's okay, baby..." I tell him

"Does it hurt?"

"Yeah..." I nod "I think the pain medication I took this morning is starting to wear off..."

"Hang on..." He tells me

He gets up from the bed and walks over to the kitchenette in the corner, opening a cabinet and pulling out a bottle of pills. He grabs a bottle of water out of the fridge and returns to sit next to me on the edge of the bed again.

"Here..." He offers me two small red pills and the bottle of water

I look at the pills, then up at him, then back to the pills again.

"It's just Ibuprofen." He assures me "Don't worry, I wouldn't give you anything weird unless you asked for it."

"Thanks." I smile, taking the pills and the water from him

I open the water and take a sip, popping the pills into my mouth and swallowing it all.

Danny reaches forward and brushes a strand of hair away from my face, tucking it behind my ear. I smile at him and he kisses my forhead gently, right above where the bruising stops. Slowly, he moves his kisses down the side of my face, to my neck, and then to my chest.

"What are you doing?" I chuckle

"Let me make you feel better..." He whispers, laying me down on the bed and climbing on top of me "I owe you..."

"Damn right you do..." I smirk "Just remember I have to be home for dinner at six."

"Two and a half hours?" He chuckles, looking at the clock as he starts pulling my shirt over my head "I think we can work with that."


	6. Chapter 6

_Robbie's POV_

I cannot stop thinking about Cat's eye.

Sure, if her dog had _actually_ smacked the side of her face with her nose or head, it would've hurt, but I doubt it would have made her eye swell up that bad. Molly is a big dog, but she's not capable of something like that. At least I don't think she is.

My first thought was that maybe she got in a fight with her older brother, like they used to when they were younger. It was never real fighting, just friendly, playful, harmless 'catch me if you can and wrestle me to the ground' kind of fighting like siblings do. But Charlie doesn't live with them anymore, he moved into an apartment downtown to be closer to work, and to have more privacy. She's never been shy about having a good relationship with him, so I feel like she would have flat out said 'Yeah, Charlie elbowed me in the eye'. So I doubt he is to blame.

Every part of me wants to rule Danny out as a possibility too, but for some reason, he seems to be the only logical explanation. I've known Daniel Perrucci for a long time now, and he's a pretty decent guy, but I wouldn't put it past him. He's always been a little rough around the edges, and he has flat out admitted to Andre, Beck and I that he drinks frequently on the weekends...so even if he didn't intentionally mean to hurt Cat, maybe he was under the influence of something and couldn't control what he was doing.

The thought makes me fill up with rage.

A man should never violently lay a hand on a woman under any circumstance, it's just not right. And the thought of someone violently laying a hand on Cat, someone who is supposed to love her, and care for her, and keep her safe, that makes me want to violently lay a hand on _them_. Our friend group is very close and tight-knit, if you mess with one, you mess with all. And if it does come out that he _is_ the one who caused that black eye...well, let's just say I would _not_ want to be Danny Perrucci.

The girls were practically inseparable at the lunch table today, sitting all huddled together and whispering like they were in junior high. Except unlike junior high girls, they weren't giddy and excited, more acting relieved of something awful. I heard the word 'negative' repeated over and over, but couldn't gather much more from the conversation. Once they figured out I was listening, they whipped out their phones and started texting each other back and forth instead. Eventually, the conversation returned to the normal, light-hearted exchange between the six of us, just like any other day. But I still can't help but wonder.

"Robbie!" A voice calls my name "Hey!"

Speaking of the devil, it's Miss Cat Valentine, headed down the hallway, straight to me.

"Hey." I smile at her "What's up?"

"Do you have to work today?"

"No." I tell her, closing my locker and pulling my backpack on to my shoulders "Why?"

"Danny was supposed to pick me up from school today, so I didn't drive..." She tells me "But his boss just called him into work about an hour ago and he could really use the overtime pay so he had to cancel. So I was wondering if-"

"Yes. You can have a ride home." I chuckle

"Thank you!" She exclaims "I'll buy Jet Vroom if you want."

"Well I'm not one to turn down free coffee." I smirk "Come on, my car is out that way."

"Kay." She smiles, following behind me

Together, we walk out the front doors and towards the senior parking lot on the side of the school. When we reach my car, I pop the trunk open and we both toss our backpacks in, then climb into the front, and I head off towards the nearest Jet Vroom.

"So how was your day?" I ask her

"Pretty decent." She shrugs "How was yours?"

"About the same." I tell her "Is everything okay with you, Jade and Tori? You guys seemed pretty concerned about something at lunch today..."

"It was nothing."

"Are you sure? Because if-"

"Robbie." She cuts me off "It was _literally_ nothing. Don't worry about it."

"Okay, okay..." I decide to change the subject "How's your eye? Still hurting?"

"Not as bad today." She tells me "And the swelling has started to go down, so that's good."

"Very good." I nod "So Danny's working, huh?"

"Yup." She sighs "Why his boss thinks they need extra pizza delivery boys on hand at three o'clock on a _Tuesday_ afternoon...I will never know."

"Well maybe he's covering for someone."

"Probably Rocco." She scoffs

"I'm getting the sense that you don't like Rocco..." I chuckle

"The only time I've ever met him, he was drunk as fuck and acting like a complete asshole." Cat rolls her eyes

"People tend to get that way when they're drunk..." I remind her "It...um..."

"What?"

"It wasn't Rocco that gave you that black eye, was it?"

"Fuck no!" Cat exclaims "No, no, no. I told you, it was Molly. Oh my god, Danny would have _murdered_ him if he had done this to me."

"I'm just checking!" I assure her "Just checking..."

"I appreciate the concern..." She tells me "But it was my dog, I promise."

"Pinky promise?" I raise an eyebrow at her

She sticks her left pinky up in the air and I wrap my right pinky around it.

"Pinky promise." She nods "Now get both hands back on the wheel, mister. I don't feel like dying today."

"Yes ma'am!" I say in a deep, goofy voice, pretending to salute her, then returning my right hand to the wheel "There will be no dying on my watch!"

"You're such a goon." She laughs, leaning her head up against the window "Remind me again why we're friends?"

"Because Mr. Conroy was too lazy to make an actual seating chart and just sat us alphabetically." I remind her

"Oh that's right." She smirks "Well, I guess it was a good thing he was lazy, huh?"

"Yeah." I chuckle "Good thing..."


	7. Chapter 7

_Cat's POV_

I knock on the door of Danny's apartment and wait for him to open the door. When there's no response, I knock again.

Still no response.

"DANNY!" I yell "IT'S ME! OPEN THE DOOR!"

There's still no answer and at this point he's either not home or asleep.

I try the door and it's locked, so I pull my keys out of my pocket and find the spare that he gave me. I twist the key and wiggle it just the right way like Danny has shown me how to do a million times before, and I hear the lock click. I try the knob again and the door opens this time, so I walk in.

Danny doesn't have any of the windows open, and based on the quiet, rhythmic sound of breathing I hear coming from his pull-out sofa bed, I can only assume that my previous guess that he's asleep is correct.

"Danny?" I say as I close the doo behind me "Are you awake?"

He doesn't answer me, and at this point, I think this is getting slightly ridiculous. It's almost three o'clock on a Thursday afternoon, he should be up by now.

I shrug my backpack off of my shoulder, set it down next to the door, sip my keys inside the front pocket, and flip the lights on. Danny still doesn't stir any, so have no choice but to turn devious.

Quietly, I tiptoe over towards his bed, stepping around the clothes, beer bottles, and Mountain Dew cans that are littered all over the floor. Taking a deep breath, I launch myself on top of him.

"DANNY, DANNY, WAKE UP!" I scream

"What the fuck?" He exclaims, shooting upright

I push him back down onto his back and climb on top of him, starting to kiss him in a way I _know_ he can't resist. He wraps his arms around me and runs a hand through my hair. I break away and sit up, still straddling his waist.

"Hi there." I smile

"Well hello." He smirks "To what do I owe this pleasure?"

"I told you I was coming by after school." I remind him "I missed you the past few days."

"I'm sorry baby..." He frowns "I've been working. Gotta save up if I want to get out of this shithole apartment."

At this point, I think he's pretty much given up on his college courses for the semester. I guess I'll have to take another shot at convincing him education is a _good_ thing come spring.

"You might want to start with a real bed." I tease him, bouncing up and down slightly "You know, one that doesn't squeak obnoxiously every time we have sex."

"Speaking of that..." He smirks, pulling me back down so I'm laying on top of him again "Why'd you stop kissing me?"

"I wanted to say hello." I tell him, pushing a strand of hair out of my eye and tucking it behind my ear "It's only polite."

"Fuck polite." He laughs "We should keep going, I was enjoying that."

"Nope." I wink, climbing off of him

"What the fuck, Cat?" He groans "You can't just get me all excited like that and then just _stop_."

"Watch me."

"Baby..."

"Baby..." I mimic him "I have homework to do...give me an hour or so and then we can pick right back up where we left off."

"What am I supposed to do until then?"

"I don't know! Take a shower, brush your teeth?" I laugh, picking up a wadded up t-shirt from the floor and throwing it at him "Clean your apartment."

"Alright, alright I get it..." He sighs, throwing the sheets off of his body and standing up "I was dreaming about you, you know. Until I was so rudely awakened."

"Were you now?" I grab my calculus textbook and notebook out of my backpack and carry them over to the small kitchen table pushed up against the wall next to the refrigerator "Was I naked?"

"No, not this time..." He chuckles, opening the fridge and grabbing a can of Mountain Dew "You were holding our son."

"Danny..."

"I know, I know." He sighs, leaning up against the table next to me "Out of sight, out of mind. But I just can't seem to get over this thought of having a little Danny Jr. with you..."

"Well, find a way to get over it." I tell him "Because I'm only seventeen. I still need to graduate high school, graduate college, find a job, get _married_ , and then and _only_ then will I start _thinking_ about the possibility of a baby."

"I know, babe." He kisses the top of my head "Just wanted to let you know that even when I'm asleep, I'm still thinking about you."

"I'm still not going to fool around until I've finished my homework."

He shakes his head and turns around, picking up a beer bottle and throwing it in the trash.

"There's a party at Jake's tonight." He tells me "I was planning on going, you want to come along?"

"Who's Jake?"

"A friend of Rocco's. I've met him a few times, solid guy."

"As much as I want to, babe, I can't tonight." I tell him, even though I have absolutely _no_ desire to go at all "Not on a school night."

"If you're scared because of...what happened to your eye...I swear to god I'm never going to let that happen again."

"It's not about the eye, baby. I've told you to stop beating yourself up over that."

"I hurt you." He walks over and kneels down next to me "Do you know how shitty that makes me feel?"

"You didn't do it on purpose." I turn in my chair so I'm facing him and kiss his forehead "And the only reason I'm saying no is because I have a _huge_ Psych test in the morning that I need to me one hundred percent on my game for."

And because I hate Rocco. But he doesn't need to know that, at least not yet.

"You'll nail it." He smiles, placing his hands on my thighs "You sure you have to do that homework right now?"

"Yes, Daniel..." I smirk, rolling my eyes

I try my best to avoid eye contact, I know if I look at him I won't be able to resist. I turn back to face the table so I can continue with my homework.

"Are you...positive?" He asks, wrapping his arms around me from behind and kissing my neck

"Danny, please..." I beg "Just give me an hour..."

"You know..." He whispers in my ear "I haven't showered yet today...would you care to join me?"

I'm torn. Of course I _want_ to take a shower with him, but I also _need_ to finish this calculus homework.

"How long of a shower are we talking?" I ask him

"Long enough..."

"Oh..." I hesitate "Fine, fine. But only of you wash my hair for me."

"That can be arranged."

I stand up and Danny surprises me by sweeping me off of my feet. I wrap my legs around his waist and he starts carrying me to the small bathroom attached to the studio apartment, making out with me the entire way. The shower is just barely big enough for both of us to stand in comfortably, but it's not like I mind being in close quarters with him.

"Hey." He pulls his face away from mine, gently caressing my face with his free hand that isn't being used to carry me "I love you, you know that right?"

"Of course I do, baby..." I cup his face in my hands and press a long-passionate kiss to his lips "I love you too."


	8. Chapter 8

_Robbie's POV_

Fuck Los Angeles _and_ it's traffic.

I grab my backpack out of the passenger's seat of my car and fumble clumsily as I try to pull it's straps onto my shoulders and climb out of the car at the same time. Slamming the door shut behind me, I take off running towards the building.

I can't be late again. The lady at the office said the next tardy slip I get is going to me attached to my detention notice. I can't get a detention, I don't have _time_ for a detention. I have to do my homework, and write college application essays, and go to work so I can actually _afford_ to live once I get to college.

I manage to make it to Sikowitz's classroom right as the bell rings to start first hour, and immediately collapse to the ground out of pure exhaustion.

"Hey!" Beck chuckles "He made it!"

"Cutting it a bit close today, aren't we Robbie?" Sikowitz sighs

"I..." I pant "I'm sorry. It's just...the traffic on...sunset was terrible!"

"He's right." Andre backs me up "It was bumper to bumper all the way from Whittier to Hartford. There was a fender bender or something and the whole thing got screwed up."

"Yeah!" I nod, gasping for air "What he said."

"Well. I'm not going to send you to the office." Sikowitz tells me "Because technically you were here before the bell. So consider it your lucky day."

"Thank you."

"Take your seat." He nods towards my vacant chair at the front of the room

I pull myself up off of the floor and walk over to my seat, slumping down into it an exhausted mess.

"Here." Cat chuckles, handing me her water bottle "I think you need this more than I do right now."

"Thank you!" I tell her, popping the top off and taking a long sip

"Don't mention it." She takes my backpack off of my lap and sets it down on the floor next to my feet as Sikowitz starts class

"Just a few basic announcements..." He says "If you're planning on attending the Christopher Marlowe field trip in a few weeks, I need your permission slips and payments no later than next Friday. Yes, I realize some of you are eighteen now, but you still need parental permission. Moving on, the list of fall plays is posted outside the black box, be sue you check it out, lots of good opportunities for some of you. And the winter musical will be starting up in about a month so be on the lookout for announcements."

"What is it?"

"What is what?"

"The winter musical?"

"Oh." Sikowitz shuffles through his papers "I have no idea! Like I said, be on the lookout for announcements. Cat! Robbie! Get up here! A little improve to start off our morning."

Of course, now that I've finally gotten my heart rate normal again, he calls on me. Go figure.

Cat and I stand up and make our way onto the stage at the front of the classroom.

"What's our scenario?"

"Hm..." Sikowitz pauses to think "Ah! Oh this one is good. You two will be a couple, having an argument. Cat, you will play the boyfriend, and Robbie, you'll be the girlfriend! Action!"

"There's another woman!" I exclaim "Isn't there?!"

"What?" Cat yells "Are you kidding? How dare you accuse me of something like that! How do I know _you're_ not cheating on _me_?"

"I could probably get away with it! It's not like you're ever home!"

"Oh don't pull that crap with me." She scoffs "I work _hard_ to make a living so that I can afford to buy you nice things! And _how_ do you repay me? By accusing me of _cheating_ on you?"

"You don't understand how lonely I am!" I tell her "Do you have any idea what it's like to be me?"

"No. I don't." She says "And I'm not going to lie, I don't think I could _stand_ being as whiny as you!"

"Excuse me, Mr. Sikowitz?" One of the office secretaries enters the classroom through the door in the front "Is Caterina in class today?"

Sikowitz gestures to Cat and she turns around, waving to the secretary.

"I'm Cat."

"Lane would like to see you." She tells her, earning a chorus of 'ooh's from the class

Apparently, we're still in junior high where getting called to the guidance counselor is a big deal.

"Should I bring my stuff?" Cat asks, making her way down the steps back towards her chair

"That would probably be a good idea, yes."

Cat gathers her things and follows the secretary out of the room, pulling the door closed behind her.

"Um..." I hesitate "Should I sit down now or..?"

"No not yet." Sikowitz tells me "Andre! Go finish the scene with Robbie!"

"Are you joking?" Andre groans

"Do I look like I'm joking? Get up there!"

Andre and I finish our scene and after critiquing us, Sikowitz lets us sit back down.

The rest of the period is not nearly as entertaining. We learn about stage fright and different techniques that can help calm us down when we're nervous. It wasn't the most interesting lesson, but probably one of those that the curriculum says we _have_ to do. I think we were all more than relieved when the bell rang and set us free.

"Shit." Jade says, bending over and picking something up "Cat left her water bottle."

"So?" Beck shrugs "Just give it back to her at lunch."

"I'll take it to her." I offer "I have to pass the office on my way to Calculus anyway."

"You sure?"

"Yeah." I nod "Besides, I'm the reason she took it out of her bag in the first place."

"Okay. See you guys at lunch."

"Bye."

I exit the classroom and start heading towards the front office, rolling the water bottle between my hands as I walk. When I enter, the secretary looks up at me from behind the desk. I smile and start heading towards Lane's office.

"He's with someone right now." She tells me

"I know. I'm just dropping something off."

"Um, you might want to wait until-"

I keep walking and knock on Lane's door before pushing it open and stepping inside.

"Robbie!" Lane looks surprised to see me "Is everything okay?"

Cat is sitting on the couch facing him, away from me, he's sitting on the table in front of her.

"Yeah, Cat just forgot her water bottle." I tell him

"Just leave it by the door." Cat tells me, her voice quivering

That's not normal. She was fine forty-five minutes ago.

"Cat? Are you okay?"

She turns to face me and I see her eyes are red and puffy, and her face is stained with makeup. It makes my heart hurt.

"Cat?" I say again "Are you okay?"

"No." She shakes her head "No, I'm not."

"What happened?" I look from her to Lane, back to her

"It's Danny..." She says, tears starting to fall again "Robbie, he's dead."


	9. Chapter 9

_Cat's POV_

Nothing in the world could ever have prepared me for what Lane said when he sat me down in his office.

Mrs. Perucci had called my mom, and my mom had called the school, asking for Lane. I thought I was in trouble, something like that the administration had found out I was at a party where underage drinking had been occurring, and even though I didn't partake, they were going to expel me.

Being expelled would have been a million times better than this.

He was at a party with Rocco. His friend Jake, whom I had never even heard of until the previous night, invited a bunch of people over to his house in Northridge. Danny was drinking, and he got into an argument with someone there. After a few minutes of yelling, the fight turned physical and the other guy pulled a knife. Apparently, at that point, Danny tried to back away but his opponent was already too agitated. He stabbed Danny in the back, right below his shoulder. No one even did anything, they were all too drunk. By the time an ambulance got there, it was already too late.

At first, I didn't believe it. I yelled at Lane and told him he was lying. But the more worked up I got, the more it started to set in. Robbie appearing in the doorway and asking what was wrong, that really drove it home; I said it out loud for the first time and it became real.

" _He's dead_."

I realize that Danny might not have always been the best person at times, or made the best decisions, but he didn't deserve to die. He _just_ turned nineteen years old, he still had almost his entire life ahead of him, and it was taken from him just like that. He was taken from his friends, his family, from _me_...just like that...

Once I collected myself enough to drive, Lane sent me home. I couldn't make it through the rest of the school day without losing myself emotionally. I just couldn't.

I feel like the world has stopped turning. In a matter of seconds, my entire life has changed, yet everything around me keeps going on as usual. There are cars still driving down my street, there are birds still chirping and flying through the sky, people are going about their business as usual without the slightest idea that something completely terrible and awful as happened.

Part of me wanted to stop at his apartment on my way home, but now I'm glad I decided against it. When I walked into my room and saw his denim shirt on the floor, I completely lost it, collapsing onto the floor in a heap of messy tears, clutching the shirt to my chest. It was my favorite, so he let me have it to wear. It still smells like him, despite being left in my house for almost six months now...it still smells like a mix of his cologne, soap, and just the faintest hint of cigarette smoke. I haven't taken it off since I got home.

Now, I'm laying in my bed, clutching the teddy bear he had won for me at the Santa Monica Pier on one of our first dates, staring at the framed picture of us I've kept on my bedside table for over a year and a half now. Every time I manage to pull myself together enough to stop crying and breathe normally, I open my eyes and see the picture again, and I find myself right back where I started: heartbroken, miserable, and hurting. I can't seem to get the last moments we spent together out of my head...

 _"Fuck..." Danny pants, pushing me up against the wall "Even in the shower you're good at this."_

 _"Well." I wince, the tile of the small shower cold and shocking to my naked body "You and I have had plenty of practice."_

 _His shower is just barely big enough for the two of us to stand in comfortably, but obviously, we don't seem to mind being in close quarters._

 _"Damn right we have." He smirks_

 _Danny sticks his tongue in my mouth and we begin making out again. Eventually, he moves from my mouth, to my neck, to my chest, and so on, moving further and further down my body with each kiss. The walls in his apartment are thin, so if his neighbors are home, they can more than likely hear both of us moaning. I honestly don't give a fuck though, what we're doing right now is no one's business but our own._

 _"Why is it that water makes everything you do so much sexier?" I ask him when he stands up again_

 _"I dunno." He says "But I could ask the same of you."_

 _"I guess we'll never know." I laugh, wrapping my arms around his neck, looking into his eyes_

 _For a moment, it's just the two of us standing there, breathing heavily, under the stream of hot water. His eyes are the most gorgeous brown eyes I've ever seen on anybody. They're not a dark chocolate brown, like mine, but a lighter more almost caramel color._

 _"Fuck..." He whispers "You're beautiful. I love you so fucking much."_

 _"I love you too..."_

The memory hurts. All of it happened less than twenty four hours ago, and in that time so much has changed. He's never going to hear me tell him that I love him ever again, I'm never going to hear him tell me that he loves me ever again. The relationship I only ever saw ending in nightmares is gone...just like that.

Maybe this is a nightmare. Maybe I'm going to wake up in a few minutes and see his face in front of mine.

My phone buzzes on the bed next to me, lighting up with a text from my mom. I open it to see that she was just checking up on me, to see if I wanted her to come home, because she knows I'm hurting right now.

 _This is real. Danny is gone_.

"No..." I whisper "Danny...come back to me."


	10. Chapter 10

_Robbie's POV_

Cat didn't stay at school on Friday after she found out about Danny, and no one blamed her. But Monday morning rolled around and her seat in first period was empty.

I have never seen anything so heartbreaking in my life than the look on her face when she told me the news. She looked like someone had ripped her still-beating heart right out of her chest, thrown it on the ground, and was using their foot to grind it into non-existence. It was a combination of sorrow, anger, and mortification. It was enough to make anyone cry.

Our lunch table is quiet, no one is really saying anything to one another. I think we're still all in shock as well. Sure, Danny may not have been a member of our 'main group', but he was around enough that his death was taking a toll on us. Not as much of a toll as it was taking on Cat, of course. But still.

"Should we..." Andre speaks up, breaking the silence "Should we go to the funeral?"

I think we were all thinking the same thing, but no one wanted to talk about it. No one wanted to admit that what was happening to our friend Cat was real.

"She said we didn't have to if we didn't want to." Jade says "But I think it might be easier on her if we were there."

"Have you talked to her?" I ask

Jade nods.

"Tori and I went to see her yesterday. We thought she might need some support from someone other than her family or Danny's."

"How is she?"

"Um..." Jade hesitates

"She's not okay." Tori says flatly "She has barely slept, and she only stops crying when she dehydrates herself to the point where she can't anymore."

That breaks my heart even more. No one wants to see someone they care about in pain, especially someone that they're close to. Just hearing about it makes me want to cry for her.

"Poor Cat..." I sigh

"She won't eat either." Jade adds "And she won't take his shirt off. She refuses to let it our of her sight for even a second."

"She's going to have a hard time moving on from this..." Beck says

"Wouldn't you?" Jade raises an eyebrow at him "What if it had been me? Andre? What if it had been Tori? How would you feel right now? You probably wouldn't be in the best shape either."

"No one wants to think like that..."

"Well, Cat is living that." Tori points out

"She's right." Jade agrees "We need to be as supportive as possible. And if that means going to the visitation, then fine. If that means going to the funeral, then fine. She's our friend, guys. She _needs_ us right now...more than ever..."

"I'll stop by after school today." I tell them "I'm not working, and she doesn't live that far from me anyway. Someone should go and check up on her. She's probably been by herself all day."

"I just don't want her to do something stupid and hurt herself..." Jade shakes her head, hiding her face in Beck's shoulder

"Cat isn't like that..." Andre assures her "She's got her head on straight, she'll be okay."

* * *

I ring the Valentine's doorbell and then step back, waiting for someone to answer. My backpack is weighed down from the weight of Cat's textbooks that I'm carrying in there. Jade knew her locker combination and was able to open it for me so I could grab the books and folders she needed in order to complete the assignments she's missed. I figured I could use them as a cover up if she got offended that I thought she needed to be checked up on.

Even though she does.

I ring the doorbell again when there's no answer. I step back from the door a little bit while I wait to double check that Cat's car is actually in the driveway, and it is. There's still no answer, so I decide to try knocking this time.

Still no answer.

"Come on..." I mutter, knocking again

I hear footsteps from inside approaching the door, so I step back. A few seconds later, the door opens and I find myself standing face to face with Cat.

"Oh..." She looks surprised "It's just you."

She's not wearing any makeup, she looks exhausted, and you can tell she's been crying. Her eyes are read and puffy, and her nose is clearly agitated from using too many tissues.

"Yup." I smile, shrugging a little "Just me. I just wanted to-"

"Check on me?" She raises an eyebrow at me "Make sure I haven't committed suicide?"

"Cat..."

"Whatever." She rolls her eyes, pushing the door open further "Come in."

I step inside and kick off my shoes. I don't think Mrs. Valentine is home, but I know she'd kill me if I took more than two steps into her home with my 'filthy sneakers' on. As I follow Cat down the front hallway and into the living room, I'm greeted by the family's golden retriever, Molly.

"Hi Molly." I smile, kneeling down to pet her "Have you been keeping Cat company? Huh?"

"She has." Cay smiles "Thank god."

I'm here for Cat. The dog can wait.

"I brought you your homework." I tell her, shrugging my backpack off and opening it

"Wow...thanks." She says sarcastically

"Cat..." I say for what feels like the millionth time in five minutes

"Stop looking at me like that." She orders "I'm not going to fucking hurt myself. You know I'd never do that, Robbie."

"I know." I tell her "I know. It's just that..."

She turns over her shoulder and heads towards the sliding glass doors that leads out to her back deck. Abandoning my backpack, I decide to follow her outside. Molly tries to follow us, but I stop her.

"No Molly, stay." I say, sliding the door closed behind me "Cat? Do you want to talk?"

"Not particularly." She tells me, reaching into the pocket of the denim shirt she's wearing and pulling out a box

It's a box of cigarettes. I watch her as she opens it and pulls one out, grabs a lighter from the same pocket, and lights it. I can't help but look on in horror. Sure, Cat has changed a little bit since she started dating Danny, she's a little edgier than she used to be. But this...this I never imagined from her. Before I even realize what I'm doing, I realize that I've knocked the cigarette out of her hand and sent it crashing down onto the deck.

"What the _fuck_ Robbie?" She exclaims

"I'm sorry." I apologize "I...I just...Cat those things are so bad for you."

"Don't you think I know that?" She spits "But this stupid carton of cigarettes that he left in my car is all I have left of him!"

She's crying now, running both of her hands through her hair as the tears start to fall.

"I...I...I..n-n-need you t-t-to leave, R-r-Robbie." She stammers "N-n-n-now."

"I can't leave you like this." I tell her "I don't like seeing you upset."

"I...I..."

She walks over to the edge of the deck closest to the house and leans up against the sliding, sliding her back down until she's sitting, and buries her face in her knees.

Not really sure what to do, I walk over and sit down next to her. I wrap my arm around her shoulders, and for a moment I think it might not be a good idea, like I'm crossing a line that shouldn't be crossed. But much to my surprise, and I think hers as well, she leans up against me and hides her face in my shoulder.

I let her stay like that for what feels like an eternity, but in reality is only a few minutes. I rub her back gently, allowing her to let all of the negative emotions that she's feeling flow out of her.

"I loved him..." She whispers

"I know."

"I still love him."

"I know you do." I sigh "I know."

"T-t-that...that was the f-f-first cigarette I t-t-tried to smoke..." She admits "I won't try another one, I promise."

"It's your life, Cat. You can do what you want." I tell her "But-"

"But it's not good for me." She says "And D-d-d-danny wouldn't want me to be smoking. He'd be mad at me."

"Come on..." I tell her, standing up and offering a hand "Let's get you back inside."


	11. Chapter 11

_Cat's POV_

I completely embarrassed myself. I broke down and acted absolutely foolish and idiotic in front of Robbie.

I have no idea why I thought that smoking one of Danny's cigarettes would make me feel better, maybe it's because that's what he always did when he was stressed out. I was correct in telling Robbie what I did yesterday; he would've been so mad at me if he found out I had tried to smoke.

Of course he knew it was terrible for him, but he only tried it once and became addicted so quickly...that's why he would never let me try one. He knew the pain of trying to quit, he tried twice, and he didn't want to put me through the same pain.

If only he knew the pain I was in right now.

I stare back at the vacant, expressionless face staring back at me in my bedroom mirror. She looks like me, but she doesn't feel like me. I've felt so different these past few days, like something is missing. Something is...but I can't get him back.

Part of me feels like he's still here with me. If he saw what I was wearing right now, a black A-line dress that came down to just above my knee, he'd sneak up behind me and whisper in my ear, begging me to put on the little black cocktail dress in my closet that just barely covers my ass. That was Danny for you. But I don't think that little black dress would be appropriate to wear to my boyfriend's visitation.

His mom had called me this morning and asked if I wanted to stand with the family in the receiving line in front of the casket. I wasn't sure what to say, I was flattered that they considered me to be enough like family to make the offer, but how on earth was I going to be able to stand there and act like my dead boyfriend wasn't laying less than three feet away? I told her I'd have to think about it, and she said that the offer would stand as long as I wanted it to. I'll probably make my decision right before I step foot into the funeral home.

My parents said they would stop by in a little while to pay their respects, and my friends said they'd be by at some point. I'm thankful to have people that care for me, and that cared for Danny, so much. As much as I like him family, I think I'm going to need a support system of my own.

"Oh Danny..." I whisper, clasping the metal back onto one of my earrings "This wasn't supposed to happen to us."

* * *

Joseph and Gail Perruci have three sons, or... _had_ three sons. Little Joe, who is actually Joseph David Perruci III, is twenty-seven. He's married to Natalie, and they have a son, Joseph IV, who just turned one. Tony, or Anthony, is twenty-three, just graduated college and still lives at home with his parents. And then there was Daniel, the baby of the family...and also the first to go.

Upon entering the funeral home, I see posters and posters of family pictures, all featuring my Danny at some point or another in his life. Seeing them makes me smile for the first time in almost four and a half days, he was such a cute kid. I stop at one of the colorful poster-boards of pictures, one specific picture catching my eye.

Danny is maybe seven or eight years old, he's standing on the porch in front of the family's screen door, holding up a bright red, Power Rangers backpack. His brown hair is shaggy and messy, probably much to his mother's dismay, and he wears the same goofy grin that I had come to love so much in my time dating him. I reach out and touch the picture, wishing that there was something I could do to see that goofy grin just one more time...

The closer you get to the casket, the more recent the pictures become, and the older Danny gets. There's everything from pictures of him at the beach with his brothers, to little league, to junior high pictures with that stupid electric guitar he loved so much. The high school pictures are the hardest for me to look at, because he looks the most like himself, I even make an appearance in a few of them.

There's one that was taken before we left for the Hollywood Arts homecoming dance my junior year. I remember that night so vividly...that was the first real dance we had gone to as an official couple, since he had no interest in going to his junior prom the previous spring, and the kickback didn't really count. The dance was amazing, and then after the dance...it was the first time we had sex. His parents had gone out to dinner and his brother was still away at school, so we had the entire house to ourselves and little to no worries of being caught. Danny was my first...he'll always hold a special place in my heart because of that.

Another picture was taken at his senior prom. I loved that night. Jade and Tori came over to help me get ready, and I remember being absolutely giddy with excitement. Sure, Homecoming and the Spring Dance were fun, but this was a senior prom! And I got to go as a _junior_ _._ I thought I was such hot shit. After the dance, we drove down to a hotel in Venice Beach with the group of his friends we had gone with and stayed the night, then got up and went to the beach in the morning. That was another great night, and I'm glad his senior prom was so memorable for him...I just wish he had gotten the chance to take me to mine...

The last picture I appear in was taken at his high school graduation. He's still wearing his bright blue cap and gown, holding his diploma in one hand, the other wrapped around my waist. There's that goofy grin again...

"Cat!" Mrs. Perruci opens her arms to hug me as I approach the front of the receiving line "You didn't have to go through the line, you could've walked right up."

"I know..." I nod, watching her wipe a tear from her eye "I wanted to look at the pictures."

"He was a cute kid, wasn't he?" Mr. Perruci appears behind his wife "Hi Cat, glad you could make it."

"Hey, Mr. P." I hug him as well

He's much, much taller than I am, so I can't see over his shoulder, but when he moves away from our hug, I can see behind them for the first time, and it's the most horrifying sight.

"Danny..." I gasp

He's dressed in a black suit, his face is clean-shaven and he looks so peaceful, like he could be asleep.

God...I wish he were only sleeping.

"Cat...sweetheart..." Mrs. Perruci tries to stop me as I move towards the open casket, but her husband stops her

"Let her go..." He says

I reach out and gently caress the side of his face. His skin is cold and lifeless, I feel the tears starting to stream from my eyes.

"Danny..." I shake his shoulder gently "No, Danny...come on. Danny, no!"

"Cat..." I hear a voice from behind me say, someone touches my shoulder

Anthony.

"No!" I brush him off of me "This isn't real! This can't be real!"

Before I can realize what's happening to me, Tony has wrapped both arms around me from behind, picking me up and carrying me to the opposite side of the room and placing me down in a chair.

I break down into tears, trying my best to hide my face in my hands to shield myself from everyone else in the room.

"I know it's rough..." Tony kneels down in front of me, placing a hand on my shoulder "He was my baby brother...it's not fair."

Tony and Little Joe...they lost a brother...Mr. and Mrs. Perruci...they lost a son. I can only imagine how they feel.

"I...I..." I stammer, trying to catch my breath

"It's okay..." Tony whispers "You don't need to explain yourself. Everyone here understands."

"We can take over now, if you'd like..." Another familiar voice says

I look up to see Jade standing next to Tony, Tori next to her, and the boys all standing behind them. I think this might be the most dressed up I've seen my friends outside of school functions.

"Sure." Tony nods, standing up and buttoning his suit jacket "Let us know if you need anything."

I watch him as he walks across the room, returning to his family.

"Come on, Cat. Let's go to the bathroom for a few minutes." Jade offers a hand to me "Don't worry, we'll stay here with you as long as you want."


	12. Chapter 12

_Robbie's POV_

"Dude." Beck nudges Andre's arm "Are you kidding?"

"What?" Andre looks up from his phone, confused

"You're playing Grumpy Gerbils at a wake?" Beck scolds "Come on."

"It's not like we're actually doing anything!" Andre exclaims

"Shhhh..." Beck and I both hiss at him

"Oh like anybody is paying attention to me anyways..." Andre rolls his eyes, putting his phone back in his pocket "We're not even anywhere near the casket."

He's right, we're no where near the casket. We're not even in the main room. We're standing outside the women's bathroom in the back hallway. Tori and Jade have been inside with Cat for about ten minutes or so now.

Andre, Beck and I weren't really sure what to do. We're here to support Cat, but we can't go into the bathroom to be supportive, and it would be awkward to go through the receiving line and see Danny's family if she's not out there.

In the past ten minutes we've learned it's impossible to be happy when you're inside a funeral home. Even if you crack a joke, you can't laugh because you feel guilty; any joy you feel is short lived in a matter of milliseconds because the environment is so somber.

"This sucks." Beck sighs, walking over to one of the plush arm chairs across the hallway and sitting down

"For Cat or for us?" I ask him

"For her." He runs a hand through his hair "I mean...Danny might not have always been the best guy at times, but she really loved him. When I was getting ready to come here, I found myself staring in the mirror and wondering about how I would've felt if I had gotten that call...if something had happened to Jade. I don't know if I'd be able to pull myself together enough to even attempt to come out in public."

"Did Beck Oliver just admit to having feelings?" Andre gasps

"Think about how you would feel if it was Tori, man." Beck shakes his head "It's unimaginable. And you don't even think about it until something comes along that makes you really wonder."

"I have a confession to make..." Andre admits, leaning up against the wall "No judgment?"

"Sure."

"Of course."

The door to the bathroom opens and Jade emerges, looking slightly defeated.

"Hey." Beck looks up as she walks over to his chair "How's it going?"

"Um..." She hesitates "It's going."

"That good, huh?"

"It's heartbreaking." Jade tells us " _I'm_ barely keeping it together."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry for me, be sorry for Cat." She tells us "Can I have the keys?"

"Sure..." Beck reaches into the pocket of his dress pants, fishing for his car keys "Is everything okay?"

"I left my makeup bag in the car." She explains "And Lord knows, we're going to need it when she calms down."

Beck hands her the keys and Jade disappears to the parking lot. We watch her as she leaves and once she is out of sight and out of ear shot, Andre speaks up again.

"So as I was saying..." He sighs "When I found out Danny had died, I was shocked. But when I found out how...I hate to admit it guys, but that part wasn't as shocking."

"Danny always liked to take risks..." I shrug "I guess this time, it just cost him."

I feel terrible for saying that. Danny was usually a pretty nice guy. He was always nice to us when cat brought him around. And he was good to Cat. Sure, he influenced her _a lot_ , but as far as I know, he never did anything bad to her. But he was a risk taker, that's the truth.

"It's sad." Beck shakes his head "The poor guy had his whole fricken life ahead of him."

It gets quiet. Jade comes back in and tosses Beck's keys back to him before re-entering the bathroom. When she pushes the door open, I hear the sound of Cat's sobs escape from inside, and I think all three of our hearts break a little for her.

No one should have to go through this kind of pain so young. No one should have to go through this kind of pain _period_ , but unfortunately...it happens. It happens out of the blue without any warning...and it's just not fair.

"Remember that time we went to the lake?" Andre finally speaks up and breaks the silence "And he brought the fireworks?"

The thought brings a smile to my face, I look up and see that both Beck and Andre are smiling too. That was one crazy night.

Last Labor Day, we all went up to the lake house that Tori's uncle owned and said we could use for the weekend. Danny had brought some fireworks along with him and we ended up setting them off while the girls had gone inside to get the stuff we needed to roast marshmallows and make s'mores; they came running out of the house _so_ fast, you would've thought a bomb had exploded. It was actually pretty funny, but oh my god, did we get lectured. Lucky for me, I didn't have a girlfriend there to yell at me and say 'You idiot, look at how close to the bonfire you set them off!' or 'You could've killed us all!'. Cat did smack me upside the head and call me an idiot though, so it wasn't a completely pain free experience. It was fun though, totally worth the lectures and whining from the girls.

"Daniel Perruci was one crazy dude." Beck chuckles

"Agreed."

As crazy as he was...it will be strange not having him around. Almost too strange to imagine.


	13. Chapter 13

_Cat's POV_

I remember hearing somewhere that the awful thing about tragic situations is that they always get worse before they get better. If that's the case, I really hope that things start getting better soon...because I don't know if I can imagine anything worse than this.

I stand sandwiched between my parents, watching with horror as Danny's casket is lowered six feet down below the surface. It's being hit even further home now...my boyfriend is in there, he's dead. But just a week ago he was pressing me up against a wall and telling me that he loved me in between passionate kisses. I still can't believe that he's really gone...

Mrs. Perruci is across from me on the other side of the casket, sobbing into her husband's chest as they both watch their youngest son be lowered into the ground. Even Mr. Perruci is crying, and I didn't think anything could break that man. Little Joe stands on one side of them, his arm around his wife who is holding their son, and Tony is on their other side. I know now that it's rare to get all of them in one place at the same time, and under these circumstances...it just isn't fair.

I feel a reassuring squeeze and remember that Jade is holding the hand that I placed behind my back for that purpose. She stands behind me along with Beck, Robbie, Andre and Tori. It means so much to me that they came. I know that at times, not all of them were Danny's biggest fans, but at least I know that I'll always have their support if I need it. And I think I'm going to be needing it a lot in the near future.

The funeral seemed like such a blur; I'm sure it was beautiful, his mom would make sure that her little boy had the best. But I can barely remember driving myself here to the cemetery...and now just like that, I was losing my Danny.

I had kissed him one last time before they closed the casket, his lips were rough and cold...not like the ones that I remember. I had hugged his cold, lifeless body one last time and almost fainted when there was no heartbeat. I whispered 'I love you, baby' in his ear...one last time.

A loud thud pulls me back to reality, and I realize that the casket has reached the bottom of the grave, where it is going to rest for the rest of eternity.

"God bless you, Daniel Vincent Perruci..." The priest says, tucking his bible under his arm and making the sign of the cross in the air "May you rest in peace..."

There's a mutter of various 'amen's throughout the crowd of people, Danny was never a very religious person, but his parents were.

One by one, and then slowly in groups, people begin to file away from Danny's grave, heading back to their cars that are parked along the cemetery's narrow pathways. But I can't take my eyes off of Danny.

"Cat?" My mom says "Sweetie? Are you alright?"

I shake my head no.

I don't know if I'll ever be alright again.

"Oh honey..." She frowns, wrapping me up in a hug as I begin to cry again "I know it seems really bad, but I promise everything is going to be okay."

If only she knew the things that I knew.

"But...I don't want things to be okay with...without him..." I cry into her shoulder "I love him, Mommy."

"And I'm sure he's smiling down on you right now because you said that..." My dad rubs my shoulder gently "But I don't think he'd want to see you miserable..."

"Come on, let's get going..." My mom suggests "I think you need some distance."

"No." I sniff, collecting myself as much as I can "No. I want to say goodbye one last time. I'll meet you at lunch."

"Are you sure?"

"I'm sure." I nod "I need this."

"If that's what you want to do..." She sighs "We'll meet you at the lunch?"

I nod again.

"Okay."

Both of my parents hug me goodbye, then start off towards their car. I turn to walk back towards the grave, but I see that my friends are still here.

"Hey." I approach them "Thanks...thank you for coming. It means a lot, and I'm sure it would've meant a lot to Danny too."

"Of course." Andre nods "You know we're always going to be here when you need us, Lil' Red."

"I know..." I manage to smile "Um...are you guys going to come to the luncheon? It's only about ten minutes from here and there's going to be plenty of food..."

"We're only called out for half of the day..." Tori frowns "We need to get back to school."

Behind them, I see two familiar figures lurking near the back of the crowd of departing funeral attendees.

Rocco and Jake.

Maybe if I wasn't so emotionally compromised, I would be able to ignore them. But I can't, I just cant.

"Excuse me for a second..." I say to my friends, pushing my way through their group, towards the two men I hoped I would never have to see ever again

"Cat?" Jade calls after me, a high amount of concern in her voice "Where are you going?"

"I'll be right back!"

As I walk away, I hear them muttering about whether one of them should come with me, or if they should follow me. They can do either, I don't really care at this point.

I've never been one for dramatic confrontations, that's not how I am. But my feet are moving me towards these two people and my brain is doing absolutely nothing to stop them.

"Rocco!" I find myself blurting out

Rocco turns, confused as to who might've called his name. I bet he thought he'd be able to slip in and out of here unnoticed because nobody would know who he was. His eyes lock on me, marching towards him, and his face relaxes. Why the fuck does he look comfortable?

"Well would you look who it is?" He says to Jake "It's little kitty cat, the ol' ball and chain."

"You!" I try to shove him backwards, but have no luck because he has at least a foot and a half on me "Must have an awful lot of fucking nerve to show up here!"

"Woah, woah, woah." He smirks, throwing his hands up in surrender "Someone is feisty today. I'm here because my friend _died_. I'm here to show my support for his family in their time of crisis."

Sarcasm is practically dripping from his mouth.

"Don't even start." I scoff

"I'm sorry, did we do something to offend you?" He narrows his eyes at me "Or are you always this delightful?"

"You made him go to that party, Rocco!" I exclaim "You let him drink! You didn't try to stop him when he got in that fight!"

"Calm down..." Jake rolls his eyes "People are staring at us."

"Let them stare!" I scream "Let them! Let everyone know that it's your fault that Danny is dead!"

"It's not like _I'm_ the one who stabbed him!"

"But did you do anything when he got hurt?" I ask, then turn to Rocco "Did you? No! You left him there to bleed out! You let him _die_! You're just as guilty as the guy who stabbed him!"

I try to shove Rocco again, but I make no more progress than I did the previous time.

"Stop that!" Jake scoffs, pushing me backwards

He's just as big as Rocco is, and in four inch heels on uneven ground, I find myself stumbling backwards into the grass. Jake and Rocco both exchange a glance and then bust up laughing at me.

"Not so scary now, _are_ you, bitch?"

"Hey!" I hear Andre say from behind me "What the hell is going on?"

"She started it, man." Rocco throws his hands up in defense again "She's crazy."

"I am not!"

"Hey..." Robbie walks over to me and offers me a hand, pulling me to my feet once again "Are you okay?"

I shake my head no, trying to stifle tears.

He hesitates for a second, then wraps both of his arms around me, pulling me close to him.

"Well, isn't that sweet?" Jake teases me

"Dude." Robbie shakes his head "Just leave her alone, she's been through enough today already."

"Cry me a river." Jake scoffs "All you ever were to Danny was a little fuck toy..."

"He loved me!" I snap, breaking out of Robbie's grip, pretending that the words he had just said to me didn't sting like hell

"Did he?"

"That's enough." Beck narrows his eyes at Jake and Rocco "I think it's time for you guys to leave."

"Fine..." Rocco shrugs, walking towards me "You think he loved you? Remember what he did to your eye...?"

I gasp as he walks away from me, back to Jake, and the two of them start off towards the car that they had come in. He had whispered it so quietly that it was impossible for anyone besides me to hear it, but that's what he wanted. He wanted to get inside my head.

"Hey..." Tori appears next to me "Are you okay?"

"Yeah..." Jade comes up behind me "Are you hurt?"

"No." I shake my head "I'm fine."

"Who were those guys?"

"They were at the party with him..." I say flatly "They left him to die..."


	14. Chapter 14

_Robbie's POV_

Cat stays out of school for the rest of the week. That's seven consecutive school days that she's missed now. I know Monday morning is going to be a rude awakening for her.

I'm not sure what I can do to help, but I want to do something. Cat has always been a great friend to me, and I need to return the favor. I wouldn't have my two best friends or even my friend group at all if it wasn't for her.

I've texted her a few times, but only gotten one word responses. I don't know how far I can push her without being insensitive.

Tori and Jade have both been stopping by after school to see her and hang out and make sure she's okay, but now it's Saturday night. Both Tori and Jade are out with their boyfriends, which means Cat is by herself. Her parents could be home, but what high school senior wants to spend a Saturday night alone with their parents?

I don't want her to think that I'm trying to come on to her in any way. Sure, at one point I had been crushing on her, but that's all it was. A stupid little freshman crush. I'm over it now. And obviously she never felt the same way about me or something would have happened between us _long_ before Danny ever came along...but she's so emotionally compromised at the moment...will she over think it and be offended?

I decide to take the chance and just give her a call, worst comes to worst she's mad at me for a few days and she'll get over it...right...?

The phone rings six times before she picks up, and for a moment, I'm scared she won't. But then I hear the other line click and a familiar voice says

"Hey..."

She sounds tired, or sad...or both.

"Uhm, hey..." I hesitate "You okay?"

"As okay as I can be, I guess." She sighs "What's up?"

"Nothing really..." I tell her

"Nothing really?" She questions me "Then why'd you call?"

"I just wanted to make sure that you were okay." I admit "I know Tori and Jade have been coming over to see you the past few days, and they had plans to go out tonight. I wanted to make sure you were alright being by yourself."

"You don't think I can handle being by myself?" She asks

I need choose my next words carefully, or else this conversation will go south real quickly.

"There's not a doubt in my mind that you can handle being by yourself, you're a strong girl." I tell her "I just want to make sure you're not alone if you don't want to be."

There's silence on the other end for a few seconds and I cringe, wondering if I had some how managed to offend her anyway. But then I hear something that makes my heart break...the sound of a muffled cry.

"Cat?"

"I'm sorry..." She says, voice quivering "There's just...there's a lot going on right now. With everything that has happened and now I'm behind in school and-"

"Do you need help catching up?" I ask "You know I'm always willing to help with homework."

"I've managed okay so far..." She tells me "I've been working all day, there's so much."

"Do you want a break?"

"Yeah..."

"Is it okay if I come over?"

"Yeah..." She sniffs "I'd much rather hang out with you than my parents."

* * *

"Oh, Robbie." Mrs. Valentine smiles when she opens the door "Hi."

"Hi." I say awkwardly "Um, Cat knew I was coming. I don't know if she told you or..."

"Oh no, she did mention it to me a little while ago." She tells me "Here, come on in."

"Thanks."

I step inside the house and immediately kick off my shoes. Molly, the family dog, appears from around the corner and comes charging at me.

"Hey, Molly." I laugh, bending down to pet her

She repays me by licking my face.

"Cat is up in her room." Mrs. Valentine chuckles, watching me play with the dog "She's been up there for most of the week, actually..."

"She told me she's been doing homework for a majority of the day today." I tell her

"Do you have any idea about the other three days?"

I shake my head no.

"Do me a favor?" She says hopefully "See if you can get her to go out and...I dunno, get some ice cream or something? I don't like her being holed up in there twenty-four seven, it can't be good for her."

"Um, I can try...?"

"Thank you, Robbie."

She turns and starts walking back down the hallway, Molly follows her. Now alone in the front hall, I turn towards the stairs and make my way up.

I've only ever been in Cat's room maybe two or three times freshman year. Usually, when we hang out at her house, we're in the basement because it's the only room where we can all fit comfortably.

I knock before I enter, simply because it's polite.

"Yeah." Cat responds

"Hey." I crack the door open and stick my head in "Mind if I come in?"

"Sure."

She's sitting on the floor, surrounded by paper, textbooks, and used tissues. When she looks up at me, I can see that she's been crying again.

I know I've been using 'heartbreaking' as my main descriptor...but I really can't think of any other way to put it, seeing her miserable makes me hurt. No one ever wants to see any of their friends unhappy.

"Whatcha doin'...?" I ask, entering the room and sitting down on the floor next to her "You look like you've been busy."

"I think I only have a few more assignments to do tomorrow..." She sighs "Thank god for student emails."

"Are your teachers being understanding?"

"Yeah." She nods "But they're not lessening the work load any."

"Well that's what we get for going to private school." I chuckle

"I guess." She shrugs "Shit! I'm sorry...my room is a mess."

"Are you kidding?" I laugh as she starts gathering the tissues scattered around her "At least you can see your floor. I can't."

"Yeah well, that's because girls are usually cleaner than boys."

She drops the wads of tissue into the wastebasket by her desk and then turns around to face me again. She's wearing the same denim shirt she had on last week when I came to see her.

"Was that his?" I ask

"Was what his?"

"The shirt..."

"Oh..." She looks down at her outfit and wraps the shirt tighter around her body "Yeah...It...it still sort of smells like him. So I've been wearing it because it makes me feel a little better."

"You should do whatever it takes to make yourself feel better."

"I just wish..." She looks at me with hesitation for a second before continuing her statement "It bothers me that everyone thought he was a terrible person. He wasn't that bad."

"Well, I know he wasn't _terrible_." I admit "But, I don't think he always acted the best."

"If you knew him like I did, you would know that's just how he was." She brushes a tear from her eye "There was so much more to him than what people saw...but no one was willing to look any further than the surface."

"If you would like to tell me about him, I'd be more than happy to listen." I tell her "You're right, I didn't know him much deeper than the surface."

"Not right now..." She shakes her head "I'm not ready to right now...it's still too fresh."

"Whenever you're ready then..." I nod "I will listen."

"Alright..." She smirks

"If you don't want to talk...what do you want to do?" I ask

"Let's watch a movie." She says "A happy Disney movie...where no one dies."

"I think we can make that happen." I laugh, standing up "Movies are in the basement, right?"

"Right."


	15. Chapter 15

_Cat's POV_

A loud obnoxious buzzing sound fills my bedroom, rudely and abruptly pulling me from the deep trance of sleep I had been enjoying so much.

"Mmmmnn." I moan, rolling over to try and turn it off

It takes a few swats, but eventually, I find the snooze button and my alarm clock is silenced, and my bedroom is quiet again.

I open my eyes briefly and immediately regret it. The room is still almost completely black, but the digital clock on my PearDock reads 5:30 AM in bright, fluorescent white numbers. I haven't been woken up by an alarm in just over a week and a half, and now I remember why it's so terrible in the first place.

 _Maybe just five more minutes..._

I close my eyes and try to fall back to sleep for just a few minutes longer, but just as I'm starting to drift off again, I hear the door to my room open.

"Cat?" My mom whispers "Are you awake, sweetheart?"

"No..." I mumble

"Come on..." She sighs, walking over and kneeling down next to my bed so we're eye to eye, or at least we would be if my eyes were open "You don't want to be late for school."

"I don't want to go to school at all!" I groan, pulling the blankets up over my head

"Oh no you don't." She rips the blankets off of me and sends them flying over the edge of the bed "We let you stay home all of last week, you have to at least make an attempt to go today."

"Just attempt...?" I ask

"If you feel like it's too much to handle, then go to Lane's office and talk to him." She tells me "If he thinks you should go home, then you can come home. But I really want you to try today, okay?"

"Okay, fine..." I sigh

I guess she's right, I have missed a lot of school. And falling that far behind and having to catch up again wasn't something I care to repeat...so it looks like I have no choice.

I sit up, stretching my arms up over my head and letting out a loud yawn before swinging my legs over the side of the bed. My mom turns on the lights as she walks out of my room and I wince, having literally no time to adjust to the bright light.

"Here we go..." I whisper, looking up at my closet across the room "Time to get ready for school."

* * *

"Come on..." I mutter, pulling up on my locker hinge "Open! Today already sucks enough, just open!"

I put the combination in again and try pulling up on the hinge again. With some coaxing, I am finally able to pry the metal door open. Robbie is right, I really do need to clean this thing out, I have too much shit crammed inside of it.

I grab the folders and notebooks I need for the first half of the day and set them on the floor next to me, then pull my textbooks out of my backpack and cram them inside, since I rarely ever use them during my actual classes. As I start transferring the stack of materials from the floor next to me into my recently emptiped backpack, my eyes land on the picture of Danny and me I have taped to the inside of my locker door.

It was taken before his senior prom. I his tux had the same hot pink colored vest and bow tie to match my dress. He's holding me bridal style and I'm kissing his cheek. His eyes are closed and he's grinning. It's an adorable picture.

I run my fingers over our faces. Tears form in my eyes, but I manage to smile. This picture holds a happy memory, and as much as I miss Danny, he would want it to stay a happy memory.

"Hey, Cat's here." I hear someone say down the hallway

I turn to see Tori and Andre walking towards my locker. I quickly brush the tears away from my eyes and try to collect myself as quickly as possible. I need to do my best to keep myself together in public; stay calm and collected.

"Good mornin', Lil' Red." Andre smiles, staring down at me as he leans against the wall of lockers next to mine, thumbs slipped through his belt loops "How's it goin'?"

"Oh it's goin'..." I sigh, standing up and closing my locker

"It's good to have you back." Tori tells me, touching a hand to my shoulder "Now life can start getting back to normal."

She turns to Andre and he nods his head in agreement.

How can life ever get back to normal without Danny? I know she didn't mean it that way, but how can it?

"Sure..." I sigh, slipping my backpack straps onto my shoulders "Come on, I don't want to be late on my first day back."

As the three of us start walking towards Sikowitz's classroom, I realize that I'm the only person in this school who had their life dramatically impacted and changed because of my boyfriend's death. Sure, my friends are hurting because I'm hurting, and maybe a little because they lost an acquaintance...but they've been able to attend school and go about life as usual for the past ten days...I haven't.

All of these people I pass in the hallway have no idea that Danny is even gone. Maybe they read about it in the newspaper or something like that, but their lives didn't change because of it. None of them realize that someone lost a brother...or a son...or an uncle...or a boyfriend. They're not even thinking about it. They're just going about their normal lives as if nothing is wrong. I can't blame them for that, Danny didn't go to school here, the only Hollywood Arts students that knew him were our little group of friends. I can't be mad because of that.

"Cat." Tori grabs my arm as we reach the doorway to the classroom "Go ahead, Andre. We'll be right in."

"Okay." Andre shrugs, walking inside

"What's up?" I ask Tori

"I know how rough it must have been to pull yourself out of bed this morning and come to school." She tells me "I...I feel so terrible about what happened, I can only imagine how you feel."

Most of the time, I forget that Danny and Tori ever dated. It was only for a couple of months, and both of them tell me they never made it past first base, so I can only assume that they're both telling the truth if the stories match. Once we made it past the Kickback, it was never really awkward again. Thank god.

"It sucks..." I admit

"I know it does." She frowns "I know you two were really happy...so if at all during the day today you start feeling like you can't handle it, just go to the bathroom and text Jade and I in the group message. One of us or both of us will meet you."

"Thanks..." I manage to smile "It's easier knowing that I have you guys and the boys here for me."

"As cheesy as it sounds, that's what friends are for..." She reaches out and touches my shoulder "We're always here whenever you need us."

"I know." I nod "And I might not be the best at showing affection at the moment...but it means a lot to me."


	16. Chapter 16

_Robbie's POV_

Cat is in school today. However, I think she might only be here physically, not mentally. Every time I've seen her today, she's seemed to be zoned out, unfocused, like she's deep in thought or lost in a daydream.

I've never been in anything more than puppy love; I've never been in a serious relationship before, so I can only imagine what it must feel like for her to be here right now. If something like that had happened to me, if I had lost someone that important, I have no idea how I would handle it.

I think Cat is trying to mask how she feels. She sat through all of Tangled and all of Monsters Inc. with me on Saturday night and barely spoke. She laughed at a few of the jokes, and maybe quoted a few lines, but otherwise she just sat there, knees pulled to her chest wrapped in a blanket, watching the screen.

I know I can't provide the same feminine comforts that Jade and Tori can, which are honestly the kind of comforts she probably wants right now. But I can't just stand by and watch her hurt like this. She's my friend. And if that means listening to her vent about how good of a guy Danny is...or was, then I'll do it. I'm interested to see what she has to tell me, Danny always kind of...perplexed me. I have no idea if she was being serious or not about telling me about him. but I hope she was. If it means she'll be back to herself, back to the Cat I used to know, then I'm willing to do whatever it takes.

"Cat?" Andre snaps his fingers "Hello! Earth to Cat!"

"Hey." I nudge her shoulder gently "Everything okay?"

"Huh?" She shakes herself back into reality "What? Me? I'm okay."

"You zoned out there for a bit." Andre chuckles "You look sort of possessed."

"Oh..." She sighs "Sorry."

"It's fine, happens to everybody."

But it's been happening to her all day...

"Are you feeling okay?" Jade asks her "You've hardly touched your salad."

"I'm just not hungry." She shrugs

"Cat, you have to eat something."

"Well what if I don't want to?" She snaps "Huh? Maybe I'm actually not feeling good and I don't want to eat."

Jade stares at her for a second, looking completely shocked that Cat had snapped at her. Sure, everyone at this table has seen Cat Valentine pissed off before, whether it be at her parents, or a teacher, or Danny, but it's never been Jade. Jade snaps at Cat, not the other way around.

"Shit..." She buries her face in her hands "I'm sorry...I didn't mean to yell."

"No..." Jade touches her shoulder "It's okay, we all get that you're going through something really terrible right now."

"You wouldn't be so understanding if I wasn't though..." She sighs "Everyone is treating me like I'm broken, and it's only making this worse!"

Cat slams her hands down on the table and pushes herself up off of the bench, storming off towards the bathrooms.

"Well now what?"

"She didn't take her bag." Beck checks the ground next to the table "She'll have to come back for it at some point, she probably just needs a minute to herself to cool down."

"One of us should probably go check on her..." Jade turns to Tori "I vote you because I'm the one who pissed her off."

"You didn't piss her off, the situation pissed her off." Tori sighs, standing up "She would have done that to anyone who brought it up."

* * *

I don't normally see Cat at all after lunch, and I figure going out of my way to check on her might be like rubbing salt in a fresh wound, so I just go about my business as usual. Beck tells me that Jade said she was better after lunch, but that you could still tell that there was something off about her.

And there is something off, she's hurting. But how can I help that? I can't bring Danny back to life, there's nothing that can. If there was, I would find it. But there's not.

So what can I do?

I really hope she's ready to open up and start telling me about him soon, because the Cat I know is much to stubborn to admit that she might need some kind of therapy, so I think agreeing to talk to me might be the next best thing.

You can only ignore a problem for so long. Eventually, it will only become a bigger problem.

If I had taken more time to get to know the guy instead of turning my nose up at him, would I be hurting just as bad as Cat is? Would Danny and I have become close friends? Maybe, but not likely. Would he have been closer with our group as a whole? Or hung out with Andre, Beck and I, playing video games on a Friday night when the girls decided they needed some girl time to themselves? More likely. Maybe then we would be mourning together instead of hurting because Cat is hurting.

Now I feel guilty. I didn't even _try_ to get to know the guy. Sure, I was at least nice to him when we hung out as a group, but he was really only an acquaintance. Nothing more than my friend's boyfriend who I saw maybe once or twice a month, three times if it was a goo month.

I guess death makes you really ponder things you had never even thought to consider.

Life is weird like that.


	17. Chapter 17

_Cat's POV_

"Oops." Joey exclaims as he bumps into my leg, falling to the ground

"Uh oh." I smile down at him "Are you okay?"

"Joey..." Natalie, Danny's sister-in-law, sighs, walking over and picking him up "I told you to stay by Mommy. Sorry, Cat."

"Oh don't worry." I assure her "He's fine."

Danny's nephew is by far one of the cutest kid's I've ever met. Sandy brown hair and big blue eyes, enough to make your heart melt whenever he says anything. He'll steal your heart and never give it back if you're not careful.

Danny and I had only been dating for a few months when he was born, but the excitement on Danny's face the first time he ever held his nephew is something I will never forget. He might have looked all rough around the edges on the outside, but whenever there was a little kid around, he was an absolute teddy bear. For the weeks leading up to Joey's birth and about a month following, all he could talk about was how excited he was to be 'Uncle Danny', and all the stuff he wanted to do with him and teach him that he knew would make him 'the fun uncle' compared to Tony. It was adorable, enough to make any girl fall head over heels for him. Thankfully, he was mine.

 _Was._

Now, almost fifteen months past that stage of his, I'm sitting in his apartment, helping his family clean out his belongings and sort them into three boxes.

Throw away. Give Away. Keep.

I'm in charge of his going through his closet, which is relatively simple, most of it is going into the 'give away' box, with the exception of the few shirts and pairs of jeans he's worn so many times that they're covered in holes. Some of it though, his mom wants to keep. His lucky hat, a Los Angeles Angels baseball cap that he got for his sixteenth birthday. Or his senior shirt from his last year of high school with his last name printed on the back along with his graduation year. She told me that I'm welcome to anything I want to keep, so I made sure his grey and black Sherwood High School sweatshirt was the first thing tucked away in my purse. It was a Nike dry fit sweatshirt and he always let me borrow it when I was over, but it was one of his favorites, so I was never allowed to take it home with me. We got into many playful arguments over it, always teasing the other about who loved it more. Whenever I look at it, I only have happy memories of it, and happy memories are exactly what I need right now.

"Oh little brother of mine..." I hear Tony chuckle to himself

I look over to see him crouched next to the bed, trash bag in one hand, box of condoms in the other. We make eye contact briefly and I quickly turn away, feeling my cheeks turn bright red.

At least we were sensible enough to use protection.

Tony tosses the condoms into the trash bag and continues sifting through the belongings under the bed and around it.

"God damn..." Little Joe exclaims, opening the fridge and shielding his nose with his arm "Didn't the kid know how to tell when something was expired?"

The longer the door stays open, the stronger the scent of sour milk and rotten Chinese food gets.

"No one has been here for two weeks, Joe." Natalie reminds him, slamming the refrigerator closed "Just go find a trash bag and clean it out before the smell becomes permanent and we can't sell the place."

 _Sell._

The thought of someone else living in this apartment...sleeping, showering, having sex, and eating in this room...someone who isn't Danny...it's too weird for me to even want to begin to comprehend. Sure, I knew that this apartment was just a temporary thing, that he would sell it and move out because he had finished school and found a job and could afford some place better. Not because...he was dead.

I keep thinking about what Robbie said, about how when I was ready to talk about Danny that he would be there to listen. Is Robbie really the person I want to be talking to? I mean, Jade and Tori are my two best friends, but they've been listening to me tell the same stories about him for the past eighteen months now and I doubt that anything I say to them now would change their minds. After them, I guess Robbie is my next closest friend...and we haven't talked about Danny much. He would be someone neutral, and someone I was comfortable with, but when is it appropriate to start talking about someone who is gone? I want to preserve his memory, but I don't want to be inconsiderate.

"Cat." Mrs. Perruci calls to me from across the apartment

I look up and see her motioning for me to come over by her. So I pull myself up off the ground, sighing as I do so, and make my way over to sit next to her and the box of random belongings she had been going through.

"What's up?" I ask, sitting down next to her

"Look what I found." She smiles, handing me a picture frame that had been tucked away inside

I wipe away the thin layer of dust that had accumulated across the frame and see two familiar smiles staring back at me. It's the picture of Danny and I from his high school graduation.

"This has always been one of my favorites of the two of us." I admit, handing it back to her

"Oh no." She stops me "You keep it."

"Mrs. Perruci..." I sigh "I have a million copies of this picture."

"So do we, honey." She assures me "He would've wanted you to have it."

"You're sure?"

"I'm sure." She nods

"Okay." I smile, pulling the picture back onto my lap "Thank you."

"Of course." She reaches out and touches my shoulder, before getting up to grab another box

I stare down at the picture, at Danny's smiling face. He was truly happy here, and that's the Danny I want to remember forever.


	18. Chapter 18

_Robbie's POV_

I had gotten a text from Cat at the beginning of last hour to meet her downstairs near the drama wing during the next passing period before lunch. That was it. No say as to why or any further explanation. I don't know if I should be worried, or concerned, or what to think really. She could want anything. It's probably nothing, right? Right.

When the bells rings, I move out of my history class as quickly as possible to beat the rush of kids I know will end up crowding the main staircase if I don't get there fast enough. Hollywood Arts is a relatively small school, both in terms of size and in population, but lots of kids use the main staircase almost every passing period. if you get caught up in one of the traffic jams, there's an almost guarantee that you're going to be late to wherever you're going. Luckily, at this point in my four years here, I've become quite skilled at moving through the hallways with a purpose. I say hello to people that I know, but I never stop and talk. I just keep moving.

I reach the drama wing before Cat does, or at least that's what I assume until I hear my name come from somewhere behind me.

"Robbie!"

I turn and look around, but can't seem to locate where exactly the voice is coming from.

"Robbie!" It says again "Over here!"

I do a full 180 turn to see Cat's head sticking out of the janitor's closet.

"Come here!" She motions to me "Hurry!"

As I begin walking in her direction, she disappears back inside the closet. I follow her inside and close the door tightly behind me.

"Is everything okay?" I ask her

"Um..." She hesitates "I guess."

"You guess?" I raise an eyebrow at her "You know people only come into the janitor's closet to argue or hookup, right?"

"I don't want to argue or hookup." She sighs "I just...I wanted to talk to you?"

"And we needed to talk in the janitor's closet because...?"

"I don't know!" She throws her hands up in defeat "It's not really a hallway kind of conversation and we're not allowed to use the same bathroom and I just couldn't think of anywhere else. And you said if I wanted to talk, then we could talk!"

"Hey, there's no need to get worked up, okay?" I assure her "If you want to talk, then we can talk."

I shrug my backpack off of my shoulders and let it fall to the ground, I have the feeling we're going to be here a while. Especially with no other class to this period, only lunch.

"What's the matter?" I ask her

"I miss Danny."

Part of me wants to roll my eyes and say 'no shit', but that would be highly insensitive and would probably end up getting me kneed somewhere I don't want to be kneed if I know Cat like I think I do.

"I know you do, Cat." I say instead "And we know the past couple of weeks have been really hard on you."

"I helped his family clean out his apartment the other day." She leans up against the wall and slowly starts to slide down to the floor "It's almost completely empty now with the exception of some of his furniture. It's just...it's starting to hit me even harder now that he's not coming back."

She hides her face in her knees and I hear a soft, muffled sob escape from her mouth. I'm not really sure what to do or what to say, crying girls aren't really my thing, and I can't say I find myself in this situation all that often. If Tori or Jade were here, they'd shoo me away and push me out into the hallway, insisting that I let them handle it. But they're not here, they probably have no idea where we even are. So I walk over and kneel down next to Cat, resting my hand on her shoulder.

"We're really proud of you, Cat. You know that, don't you?" I tell her "You have handled this whole thing so well, and you've been so incredibly strong."

"Then why does it still hurt so bad?"

"I...I don't know." I admit "Probably because you loved him so much."

That's a safe answer, isn't it? I don't know, I'm not very good at this touchy-feely stuff. When I said she could talk to me, I figured she's be doing the talking and I'd be doing the listening, only stopping to comment every once and a while. I guess that's why Jade and Tori normally do this.

"I did..." She cries "I really, really did. Everybody thought he was such a bad guy, but once you get to know him, you'd see that he wasn't really that bad."

 _That bad._ Was there a dark side to him then?

"Did you ever meet his nephew?" She asks me

"No." I shake my head "I didn't. Was that the little boy at the funeral?"

"Yeah." She nods "Joey. His oldest brother's son. The two of them together, they were just the cutest. He loved kids, you could tell. He might've been all rough around the edges from the outside looking in, Robbie. But he was actually the world's biggest teddy bear, I swear."

"I believe you."

I find it hard to believe, but of all people, I feel like I should trust Cat.

"He loved kids...and he loved music...and I dunno...he was just so passionate about everything. He was passionate unlike anybody I ever met. I wish the world could have seen that."

Knowing that Danny liked kids and music, and was passionate about certain things, doesn't really change my opinion on him much. But seeing how much Cat really cared for him and is really heartbroken once again is enough to rip me to shreds. I move from kneeling to sitting down next to her, rubbing her arm gently.

"Tell me more, Cat." I tell her "I want to know more about him."


	19. Chapter 19

_Cat's POV_

Why I picked right there and then in that moment to choose to start opening up to Robbie, I have no idea. There was just so much pressure that was starting to build up on my shoulders and a terrible feeling taking up a constant residence in my gut, I just snapped and decided that I had to do something.

I could tell he felt a little awkward, I don't blame him. Guys usually aren't really good with the whole 'help me, I'm crying and I don't know if I can stop because I'm just that emotional' thing. That's not his fault, Danny used to be like that too for the first few months that we were dating, it's just how guys are. They're not as good with other people's emotions as girls are. Which is why it felt a little awkward for me as well. I usually go to Jade and/or Tori with this kind of thing, but the past few weeks...I don't know, I just feel like I've been overwhelming them. I've been so clingy and emotional. And Robbie offered.

We stayed in the janitor's closet for the entire duration of our lunch period. We ate. I talked. He listened and provided insight when necessary. I wish we could have stayed there for the rest of the day, because returning to the reality of high school afterwards was less than enjoyable to say the least. Which is why we ended up where we are now, a small table in the corner of Jet Vroom. Not our normal Jet Vroom about a block from school, I only agreed to talk in public if we went somewhere where there was little to no chance that someone would recognize my face. So we picked one that was halfway to Northridge instead.

Robbie sits down in the chair across from me and slides the caramel frappechino that I had ordered across the top of the wooden table.

"Thanks." I say, raising the straw to my mouth

"Don't mention it."

We sit there silently for a few minutes. People walk past our table, all of them strangers who's faces I have never seen, and will probably never see again. It's to the point where it might become awkward if one of us doesn't say something soon, and it's my fault that we're here in the first place. So, I make the decision to tell Robbie about something that I have only ever shared with three other people; Tori, Jade, and Danny.

"We had a pregnancy scare." I say without any lead up or warning

Robbie almost chokes on his coffee.

"A what?"

"We thought I was pregnant." I tell him "About two weeks before he died, actually. My period was late. We thought I was pregnant."

"But you're not." Robbie looks incredibly concerned "Right?"

"No." I shake my head "But there are days when part of me wishes that I would have been. I mean, I'm too young to be a mom. But at least I would have something left of him to hold on to."

"Was that what all of the whispering and rushing off to the bathroom was about a few weeks back?" He asks me

"Yeah, probably." I nod "The worst part of it is, Danny was only panicked for a few minutes. We went to the drug store to buy the test, and by the time we got back to his apartment so I could take it, he was already planning out what we should have done if it had been positive. He was talking about how it wouldn't really be that hard for me to move in with him, and 'would it really be the worst thing in the world if we got married?'. He was so calm, he was trying to figure everything out. If I hadn't had him there with me, I don't know what I would have done. He would have been a good dad too."

"Wasn't he..." Robbie hesitates for a second before he continues "Do you mind if I speak freely?"

"I honestly don't really care _what_ happens anymore." I admit

"Wasn't he a bit of a partier? Would that have really been a healthy situation?"

"You didn't know him like I did, Robbie." I say seriously "If he had known he had a baby on the way, he would have given up the partying, smoking, and drinking in a heartbeat."

"You're right, you knew him better." He nods "And I can only imagine how much worse it must be losing someone you were...that intimate with."

"It wasn't exactly a secret, Robbie." I manage to chuckle "He was constantly leaving little love bites all over my body...we weren't that great at hiding it."

"Well excuse me for not looking... _there_."

"No you're right...you're right."

"Cat..." Robbie sits upright from the slumped position he had let himself slide into "You don't need a baby to have something left of Danny, you know that right? You have some of his belongings, and you have pictures, and most importantly you have his memories."

"Memories will fade." I remind him

"But not until long after the hurting has stopped." He assures me "And I don't mean that to imply that one day you'll just wake up and you won't miss him anymore. You'll always miss him, and he'll always hold a special place in your heart, but it will get easier, okay? I can promise you that. The hurting will subside eventually."

Right now, that feels impossible. Right now, I don't even necessarily want the pain to go away, I just want to find a way to deal with it.

"Since when did you become some sort of shrink, Shapiro?" I raise an eyebrow at him

"Can I be completely honest with you?"

"Of course."

"I bullshitted that entire thing." He grins "But it worked, didn't it."

"Maybe a little." I smirk, rolling my eyes

"Yeah?'

"Yeah."

"We can make this a weekly thing, if you want." He offers "Like, every Wednesday after school, we'll come here and talk for an hour. And once you think we don't need to anymore, we can stop. Just like that."

"Every Wednesday?" I look up at him

"Every Wednesday. Rain or shine, regardless of homework loads..." He nods "Every Wednesday until it starts to get a little better."

"Alright." I agree "Every Wednesday."

He extends his hand out to me and I shake it, sealing the deal for us both.

"It's a deal."

* * *

 ** _In light of a recent death in my family, I'm going to need to put this story on a hiatus for the time being. I have no idea if it will be permanent or not, but I tried to get it to a good place where I could leave it just in case. Writing is something that I use to keep myself occupied, so I will still be starting a different story that's a little less emotionally heavy. I know that this is very abrupt, but I want to thank you all in advance for understanding._**

 ** _XOXO_**


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